This. Is. Hard.

This. Is. Hard.

Man oh man. I thought pregnancy was hard but you know what’s even harder? Parenting.

Parenting. Is. Hard.

Disclaimer: For those of you that’ll think I’m whining or don’t want to hear me express my uncensored, unpolished thoughts on the current hardships of this season of my life, you may want to go ahead and exit out of this post now before you waste too much more of your time. My desire is not to impress you with my words or make you feel good about the coping mechanisms you’ve set into place to keep from acknowledging the reality of your own hardships. But the goal of this post is to normalize saying things are hard so that someone reading this blog entry doesn’t feel alone and isolated in their situation.

So with that being said, Parenting is hard.

Now when I use the term, “parenting”, I’m not just talking about the act of meeting the basic needs of clothing, feeding, and keeping one’s offspring safe on a daily basis. I am talking about the weighty responsibility of loving, nurturing, teaching, redirecting, and constantly influencing another mind throughout their entire lifetime. It’s bigger than just a title but it’s a calling and one thing’s for sure, it is hard.

Everyone has their own idea of how it should be done and what decisions should be made. I mean everyone has an opinion about everything. If you’re breastfeeding, they have an opinion about whether or not you should do it in public. Should you cover up or not. How long you should breastfeed before society deems it as weird. If you’re formula feeding, when you should introduce baby food or if you should add cereal to your baby’s milk to make sure they’re full and sleeping longer through the night. Why you should or shouldn’t cosleep. How to discipline your child. Whether or not spankings are appropriate and if so, at what age. Does timeout work? Why or why not? I mean let’s be honest. Even the greatest of medical professionals, child psychologists and therapists all have different opinions about things, which proves one thing. There is no ONE RIGHT WAY.

As a parent, I believe that we all have a child like version of ourselves living inside of us that influences the decisions we make. Whether our childhood was enjoyable or had it’s fair share of hardships, I believe there is in all of us a desire to either emulate or avoid duplicating the circumstances that we ourselves experienced. It’s as if we have a commentator constantly reminding us of how the way our parents raised us either helped or hurt us causing us to be intentional about the impact we have on our own kids. And that day to day, minute to minute decision alone is hard.

Because he truth is, no one really knows what they are doing. This is all trial and error. You can read all the articles you want but no two children are the same and can be parented as such. What works for your child, may not work for mine. And guess what? That’s ok! But what we as society don’t do a good job of is acknowledging that the journey to figuring it out is quite difficult. Why is that? Well for some of us, I think it’s because we feel bad for “complaining” about something that is such a blessing. For others, we feel like a whimp for crying about things that everyone is going through or experiencing. What makes us feel like we are exempt of the hardships? Or it could be that we’ve watched our ancestors, our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, create these habits for survival that allows no room for emotion. No, we must simply suck it up and keep it moving. But I would have to disagree. I don’t think that this is the way. Yes, they may have survived but at the expense of what? Their happiness, their sanity, their health.

So on this journey to figuring out how to parent 2 children under the age of 2 years old, here I am boldly and unapologetically admitting that this is HARD. Not to gain your sympathy. Not necessarily to solicit your encouragement. But simply to give myself permission and space to figure it out. To give myself permission to not have all the answers, to not always get it right, and to change my mind about what I believe is my parenting style along the way. I have the right to create my own blueprint by which I want to raise my kids even if it is unconventional or new to myself as well as my family. After all, although a parent, I, too am still growing, developing, becoming and ever changing.

The same goes for you too. No matter what stage of parenting you may currently be experiencing. Whether you’re a new mom for the first time, parenting through puberty, or learning how to parent your adult children. Whether you’re a birth parent, stepparent, or adoptive parent. You too have the right to extend to yourself this same grace and honesty, admitting that you’re just trying to figure this all out one decision at a time.

So let’s normalize saying “Parenting is Hard” so that we may all come together supporting one another as we raise healthy children and in turn create healthy communities.